Put That Away Billy...

Just finished a piece for IFC.com about movies set in the NBA. One of those movies is Forget Paris, a romantic comedy written, directed, and starring Billy Crystal as an NBA ref who falls for a woman he mets in Paris, played by Debra Winger. The NBA sequences are a lot of fun, but mostly the film is Crystal and Winger trying very hard to be Woody Allen and Diane Keaton in Annie Hall. Overall, it's a fairly forgettable affair. Forgettable, that is, except for one image that is now seared into my brain. Because Forget Paris features what may be -- what I certainly hope is -- the only Billy Crystal Lounging Topless Sex Scene.

FEAST YOUR EYES AND DESPAIR INTERNET!

Oh the horror. The unshapely, soft focus and silk pajamas horror. This scene -- and can I get a little thanks for restraining myself from posting the video? -- makes a very strong argument for the creation of a website that would function as the anti-Mr. Skin. Instead of telling you where you can find nude celebrities in films, it would alert you to scenes, like this one, that should be avoided at all cost.