Monday, July 02, 2007

Behold! A 7-Eleven Shall Become A Kwik-E-Mart!!

So I'm surfing the Interweb minding my own business when I come across this article, informing that as part of the promotion for The Simpsons Movie, 11 7-Eleven stores across the country are being transformed, for one month, into Kwik-E-Marts. The article said that one of the 11 7-Elevens was in New York City but didn't give an address.

There are only 2 7-Elevens in NYC. The first, 23rd and Park, was a bust, so I went to the other, across from the Port Authority on 42nd between 8th and 9th. And EUREKA! A veritable nerd paradise:

Never before have I seen such a craven attempt at cross-promotion. And never before have I acted, in response, like such an immature loser. It was like I couldn't help myself: OOH! OOH! A Squishee machine!

They were selling Simpsons memorabilia and super-cool recreations of productions from the show like Krusty-O's and Buzz Cola (sadly, no Duff Beer — not in keeping with the family friendly image, I guess). There were tons of cool signs and stuff all over the place; my favorite was the sticker of Jasper on the Ice freezer:

The staff had even gone through and made awesome hand-made signs to go with:

I generally acted like a total idiot — I can never, ever return to this store because of how I behaved (which might not make this the best promotion in 7-Eleven's history). Mel came along to see for herself and to document my patheticness and snapped this picture which was, no joke, not posed. I was actually, shamefully, having this much fun:

Though my Squishee was totally watery and not at all frozen (somehow in keeping with the level of foodstuff quality I'd expect at a Nahasapeemapetilon establishment) there was one totally awesome treat both Mel and I enjoyed far more than we should have: the official Simpsons Movie donut:

The donut, while almost certainly toxic given the amount of chemicals required to make something that pink, was delicious and allowed me to create my very own art project:

And, of course, once you go that far, you kinda need to do something incredibly stupid, like this:

If anyone wants to animate that for me, I'd appreciate it. All in all, quite an adventure. The photos and the memories, and the slightly dirty feeling I have about getting so excited about going into a 7-Eleven, will last a lifetime. And now if you'll excuse me, back to business:



Blogger Pete said...

I'm so jealous, is that more or less nerdy? How are the Krusty O's?

8:24 AM  
Blogger rockmarooned said...

Dude... thank you so much for doing the legwork on this. I only glanced at the 7-11 store locator and assumed that the 23rd & Park was the one to check out in the NYC area. Thankfully, I work relatively close to the Port Authority (I can't believe I just typed that) and I will be getting my own Krusty-O's ASAP.

10:40 AM  
Blogger Matt Hauske said...

You're a gay. That's right: "A" gay.

4:39 PM  

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