Sunday, July 01, 2007

The greatest Transformers review of all time

A gentleman I'm not familiar with at an internet site I'm not familiar with leads off his review of Michael Bay's Transformers:

Transformers is better than sex. I mean, I don't want to overhype it or anything, but I just got back from the screening, and if I had the chance to watch it again right now, or some hot woman would have sex with me if I went home with her, I can't think of a woman alive who would tempt me away from a repeat viewing.

This is meant seriously and it is, without a doubt, absolute madness. Oh but there's more. Just in case we think this guy's not speaking from experience (a likely thought) he assures us:

And I'm not some teenager who's comparing this movie to what he thinks sex would be like. I'm a grown man and I've had some fantastic lovers. I once dated a bipolar girl and they are dynamos in the sack. That's what I'm comparing Transformers to: crazy sex (the best kind, if you can survive the lows).

I recommend you go to the site and read the whole thing. It is, in its own particularly idiom, a thing of beauty. My own review of Transformers will go up on The Reeler early next week but I can promise it will not be as good as this review. I don't want to spoil it but I will say this: I make no "better than" comparisons. I do, however, compare the movie to "going to the circus and ignoring the animals on parade to watch the guy who cleans up after them."


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