Termite Art in The Village Voice: Vol. LI, No. 6

Pete L'Official on Curious George

As proverbs and maybe millions of years of evolution tell us, curiosity proves fatal only for meddlesome felines. Thankfully, certain incorrigible monkeys are free to mess around with impunity.

Matt Singer on Film Geek

Just because lonely nerds masturbate constantly doesn't mean I need to see them do it over and over again.

R. Emmet Sweeney on Through the Fire

The kid's got a sick hesitation move. Jumper's still spotty, though.

Singer on When a Stranger Calls

...there is a limit to how many times mundane activities can be rendered spooky by wailing string instruments ("Oh my God, the refrigerator is making ice! Run for your life!").

And, most importantly, The Sweeney with an absolutely stellar essay that was sadly cut from the paper for space. Seriously, this thing will make your Valentine's Day a whole lot sexier.

I expose my vices and vice versa: I love football (real and fantasy), am incapable of cooking a decent meal, and prefer irony to expressing emotion. She exposes occasional insecurities, about her English (it's fabulous), and her future (it's bright).

And how's this for a happy ending: dude's in Paris right now with the lady in question in said essay. I mean that guy is good.